I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.



ｔｈｅ ｇｉｒｌ ｗｈｏ ｒｏｓｅ

Imagine that you fall asleep. In your dream you live a year. A year of smiles and tears and bitterness and discoveries. In the dream, you cannot remember the world you left behind. You live and love and hate.

Imagine waking up to discover it was not a dream.

And yet, no time had passed.

The first time she dreamed her future, Morgana was canon updated until mid 2x12. The second time she would dream away almost three years and the change in her would be more clear. Moving straight from 2x12 to 4x03. In canon, her personality changed in a very drastic measure. From a figure who represented an idea of justice and compassion, Morgana turned into a woman consumed by darkness, bitterness and anger. Some the events that led into this downfall are known to her in Asgard; yet hearing of things is one thing and experiencing them is another.

If you poison us do we not die?



Morgana being poisoned by Merlin is something she knows about, something she had already forgiven without having experienced the pain of it herself. Having thought that Morgana knows she is the source of the spell that put all of Camelot to haunted sleep, Merlin took it upon himself to break it by killing her.

It's that moment, less than an hour after she told him he is a good friend to her, when her throat began to clench and the air started leaving her that Morgana learned betrayal.

It's not a lesson she will forget. Later on that would inspire a deep loathing in her towards Merlin, an inability to trust anyone after the man who knew of her secret tried to end her life. When trust leads you to near death, you learn not to.

Morgana lived but the poison, in some forms, never left her. Instead the memories of it coursed through her blood and while her body was free of it, her soul never was.



It's in this moment, when Morgana is dying of the poison that Merlin laced in her water, that Morgause steps into the picture. A figure of mystery for everyone until then, Morgause saves Morgana's life, admits to be her half-sister through her mother and becomes the one person she is loyal to and her mentor. It is Morgause who teaches Morgana how to control her magic, how to use it, how to control it and not be controlled by it. Beyond it, it is Morgause who promises Morgana that she is not a monster, that there is nothing wrong with her, that her magic is natural and those who would wish to kill her for having it, those are true monsters. Morgana spends a year away from Camelot learning everything there is to learn from her sister, learning to rely on her and her alone. Through Morgause's support, love and acceptance, Morgana learns do despise those who she left behind in Camelot for not offering her the same thing, for aligning themselves with a regime that would see her kind dead, with a king who made her feel that she was infected by a disease rather than gifted with magic.

Morgana will also know how the path ends for her and her sister, of Merlin hurting Morgause and condemning her to a slow and painful death that she herself will grant her. One of her more recent and most painful memories, shall be the night she took Morgause's life on the Isle of the Blessed in order to break the barriar between life and death and set deadly spirits to break Camelot and its men.

It would be Morgause's parting gift to her.

And if you wrong us shall we not revenge?



Morgana then sets on avenging what had been done to her and to her kind. She returns to Camelot, supposedly the woman she was before but it is an act, a facade she keeps to fool her former friends until the moment will be right and she could play her part in Camelot's downfall. This mad desire to see the place that had chained her fall only becomes stronger after she hears Uther confess he is truly her father. The truth of her birth, of all her father denied her and of the lies drives Morgana even angrier, makes her harsher and more keen on seeing him dead.

It also means she can inherit his throne; and it becomes her new goal.

Eventually, she manages to usurp her own father, drive away her own brother and become Camelot's new queen. Her reign is short and cruel; the people she once cared for are dead at her men's hands and Morgana, once a woman who stood for freedom, becomes a tyrant quite like Uther. Camelot's throne becomes an obsession, to force herself as queen on the kingdom that had denied her and create her anew is something that boils Morgana's blood, a goal she will do anything to achieve.

It takes her another year after that, to kill Uther Pendragon.

Some would say her betrayal killed his spirit even before that, leaving him a shadow of the man he once was. For Morgana, his death is the ultimate goal, something she has to do.

When she finally manages it, all she has to say is I felt his pain.

There is no joy on her features.

Her new goal then turns to be her brother Arthur. The one thing that separates her from her throne.

ｐｅｒｓｏｎａｌｉｔｙ | ａｓｇａｒｄ | ｈｏｕｓｅｓ



In Camelot, Morgana's personality seemed to have changed between one end and another. In truth, it most became extreme and more ruthless, the edge was there before. The woman who said You have to do what's right and damn the consequences is still there, only to her, something else entirely become the right thing. The loyalty is still there but as she'll tell Merlin, she has no one left that she can be loyal to.

From a woman who showed great compassion and care for nobles and servants alike, a moral compass of a sort, she became a dark thing, consumed by anger and hate and self loathing. The girl she once was, to her, was a silly, naive thing who died that day on the cold floor with the taste of Merlin's poison in her throat. This incident made Morgana's heart harden and made her determined never to be weak again. Trust, love, friendship, all the things Morgana once had she now shunned away, making her vicious and above all, lonely.

From the start, Morgana never quite fit. The only one to publicly speak against Uther to his face, she objected to the persecution of magic even before she learned that she has magic herself. Finding out about her powers led Morgana into a dark, lonely place in which she was surrounded by people who loved her but at the same time, she was convinced they would all see her burn at the stake if they ever find out what she is. That made her feel even more self loathing, like a monster in the disguise of a girl. Morgana only ever wanted to belong.

She didn't find this peace in Camelot, she found it in Morgause. And so she grew to be an angry woman, set on punishing all those who sided with Uther. Merlin's poisoning her was a catalyst and after that, she was not the same. Power became her obsession, as it is what freed her. Control of Camelot would grant her both the satisfaction of punishing the kingdom for the crimes she felt it committed against her and for the persecution of her people.

As time progresses, it becomes much more about her than about her people. Once caring, Morgana becomes more and more selfish, doing things she knows would make Arthur and the people of Camelot fear magic all the more but never caring about it. She becomes cruel, ruthless and vindictive. Once she had believed Arthur could set things right, after her year with Morgause and after finding out she, the older sibling, had a right to the throne, she had threw this loyalty to the wind as well and turned against him and against the woman she had Seen to become his queen and sit on her throne, her former best friend Guinevere.

She would, of course, claim they had betrayed her first. Arthur by never noticing her distress, her screams at night, her growing misery, Merlin for poisoning her, Gwen for choosing Arthur where she could choose her. Morgana, as she sees it, was wronged time after time and now she is set on punishing the people in her life for what they did to her. Her part in this? she doesn't see it. She is a victim who victimizes others. There is a lot of truth to Morgana's claims, but there are also places where she had wronged others, places where she was dishonest, but she would not admit to those, she cannot see them. From a woman who once stood by the truth, she turned into a deceitful creature, a traitor to those who loved her. She had changed, drastically but even in her mighty power, a Priestess of the Old Religion, Morgana is lonely, broken and scared. She is frightened of Emrys who would be her doom, scared of her destiny, even scared of facing Arthur properly.

She is a girl who lost her way, who fell from grace but even in her darkest moments, she believes she is doing the right thing for herself, for her people.

She only wants what is rightfully hers, what has been denied of her.

Morgana's story is a sad one, it is a lesson of how dark a once kind and compassionate woman can turn after faced with betrayals and lies, how cruel the fall is for someone who once had been an image of freedom of speech and liberty and then turned into a tyrant.

All of that Morgana will go through, only to wake up at Asgard and bring together the a year of memories formed at the place, loyalties and friendships and love with what she did in Camelot, what has been done to her in Camelot.

That is why she will not quite be the woman she in Camelot, not the woman with the dark gowns and wild hair and dark soul and wild eyes, not her, because Morgana has memories and feelings that do not align with this woman. She has love where the woman has one, friends when her canon self is lonely, light when her canon self is all darkness. The girl who canon!Morgana tried to forget, to bury under sinister smirks and cruelty will not budge easily, would not step back and let her become what she had become in canon.

Above all else, Morgana would be conflicted. Torn between what has become of her in Camelot and what has become of her in Asgard, between fierce love and fierce loathing towards the same people, between compassion and ruthlessness. She would not easily apologize for what she did anymore, instead she would demand apologizes for what had been done to her, lift her chin and up and demand answers, becomes fiercer, more haughty, more of a queen.

She would also feel regret, a lot of it, something that has quite left in canon and will become a constant friend in Asgard.

She cannot choose between the two women who reside in her, that much is impossible.

She can only try and learn how to balance; rise above or fall again.

Due to all these changes, she would change houses. Though still dutiful, mostly to herself and to her goals, Morgana has a much darker mindset. That, combined with her abilities as a necromancer, her raising armies of the dead and her tearing the veil between the world of the dead and the world of the living, will send her to house Hel and give her the power of Shadow Control.