I remember that. [A smile pulls at his lips as he leads them past Team Free Will's house.]
It's probably a good thing he hasn't seen it yet.
[The smile slowly fades as he comes to a stop under a lamp.] I didn't trust you then, but you convinced me in the end. [He looks up at the stars, quiet for a moment.] We're really going to be sent back after this.
[ and I will fail you all, is what she doesn't say. Remember the promise you made when we just came here, she wishes to add but she knows there's no need. ]
Keep safe, Merlin; and keep Arthur safe, too. For all that will happen once we return, I'm sorry.
[And this is the hard part, knowing that they'll forget everything. Knowing that, in spite of all the progress they've made, it'll all be swept away at the whims of the gods.
His throat tightens. It doesn't matter that he and Arthur have a destiny to go back to--Arthur's here and already the king he's supposed to be. And they'll lose Morgana to her fears, and Will to events already passed. Lancelot, who's doomed to wander on his own for years before becoming a knight. Mithian, who they have to befriend all over again. Uther, who's alarmingly starting to ask about magic. Mordred, who will become their enemy again. Things have just started working out, and it isn't fair.
For a second, Merlin thinks he could honestly hate them. Then he remembers the joys and the sorrows he'd lived through because of Asgard, and he can't. Even if it'll all be taken away.]
[ it's a childish request, can't I say? There is only darkness in my future but a request nonetheless. Merlin and Arthur, Lancelot, shall all be lost to her and she to them and she to herself. ]
Try to be happy, Merlin. When we go back. Camelot's streets need some smiles and good spirits.
[ she won't even try to deny it, there is no point. It is written in his and Arthur's memories. Merlin would try and poison her, she would try and kill Arthur. ]
[It all comes down to the thing he and Morgana have been avoiding since he dropped the bomb on her and she received a new set of memories. Neither of them have really taken that necessary step forward yet, aside from their usual, playful interactions, maybe because the rawness the previous talk had left is still fresh in their minds.]
I'll try, but I don't think it's going to help. [It wouldn't help, if they actually remembered anything upon returning.] It's not going to be the same without you.
[ She looks at him for a moment; this freedom will be good for most but terrible to them, to them all. She has banished the thoughts of it until now but now - ]
Whatever happens from now on - I do not know what will come to pass but Merlin - you could have simply not trusted as you said, but you did. I suppose this is the only chance I will have to thank you.
[He catches her hands in his, looking down as he tries to figure out what to say. Between her and Arthur, he's grown by leaps and bounds since arriving in the city. He knows that he wouldn't be the same without her and Arthur's support, however teasing it is sometimes. One thing's certain: he owes them a lot.]
I've already said I'm sorry--I am. I wish now that I'd done things differently when I had the chance, and maybe you'd still be with us back in Camelot. Maybe you wouldn't have felt alone enough that Morgause was your only option.
[Merlin breathes in, deeply, quietly.]
I should be thanking you. For still being my friend even after you knew. It's not just me you've affected, Morgana. Arthur needed you just like you needed him, and I know Uther would not have even considered giving magic a second look if it hadn't been for the two of you.
[He leans in then for a kiss. It's a short and gentle, nothing more than a warm press of his lips against hers before he pulls away.]
You're strong, Morgana, stronger than you know. You could accomplish so much without letting your fears get the better of you. Remember that, if nothing else, when we're sent back.
[ That's not fair. It's so rude, Merlin; it's the end of the world and soon we might all be sent home and she doesn't even have Gwen here to tell her about this and - ]
Merlin, simply be safe. Tomorrow - at home. Whatever comes, just be safe.
I'll do my best. [That's the only thing he can give her, because she of all people should know how reckless he can be if the situation calls for it. If risking his own safety means saving one of his friends, he's not going to hesitate.] If anything happens--while we're fighting--look after the others.
[Merlin's hands hold onto hers for a moment longer, then he lets go with a soft sigh. He's already said what he wanted to, and it'd be unfair to push for any more at this point.]
And we have. Most of the city is washed with color and its people see each other as one. This will pass, too.
[ and then they will each be sent away. She thinks that she should have said more goodbyes. But goodbyes are an upsetting matter and she doesn't wish to sadden anyone before a battle. ]
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It's probably a good thing he hasn't seen it yet.
[The smile slowly fades as he comes to a stop under a lamp.] I didn't trust you then, but you convinced me in the end. [He looks up at the stars, quiet for a moment.] We're really going to be sent back after this.
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[ and I will fail you all, is what she doesn't say. Remember the promise you made when we just came here, she wishes to add but she knows there's no need. ]
Keep safe, Merlin; and keep Arthur safe, too. For all that will happen once we return, I'm sorry.
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His throat tightens. It doesn't matter that he and Arthur have a destiny to go back to--Arthur's here and already the king he's supposed to be. And they'll lose Morgana to her fears, and Will to events already passed. Lancelot, who's doomed to wander on his own for years before becoming a knight. Mithian, who they have to befriend all over again. Uther, who's alarmingly starting to ask about magic. Mordred, who will become their enemy again. Things have just started working out, and it isn't fair.
For a second, Merlin thinks he could honestly hate them. Then he remembers the joys and the sorrows he'd lived through because of Asgard, and he can't. Even if it'll all be taken away.]
I don't want to go back.
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[ it's a childish request, can't I say? There is only darkness in my future but a request nonetheless. Merlin and Arthur, Lancelot, shall all be lost to her and she to them and she to herself. ]
Try to be happy, Merlin. When we go back. Camelot's streets need some smiles and good spirits.
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Arthur and I will be right where we were before, but you're not going to be there. Not you.
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[ she won't even try to deny it, there is no point. It is written in his and Arthur's memories. Merlin would try and poison her, she would try and kill Arthur. ]
But you must try still. Please, Merlin, do try.
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I'll try, but I don't think it's going to help. [It wouldn't help, if they actually remembered anything upon returning.] It's not going to be the same without you.
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Whatever happens from now on - I do not know what will come to pass but Merlin - you could have simply not trusted as you said, but you did. I suppose this is the only chance I will have to thank you.
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I've already said I'm sorry--I am. I wish now that I'd done things differently when I had the chance, and maybe you'd still be with us back in Camelot. Maybe you wouldn't have felt alone enough that Morgause was your only option.
[Merlin breathes in, deeply, quietly.]
I should be thanking you. For still being my friend even after you knew. It's not just me you've affected, Morgana. Arthur needed you just like you needed him, and I know Uther would not have even considered giving magic a second look if it hadn't been for the two of you.
[He leans in then for a kiss. It's a short and gentle, nothing more than a warm press of his lips against hers before he pulls away.]
You're strong, Morgana, stronger than you know. You could accomplish so much without letting your fears get the better of you. Remember that, if nothing else, when we're sent back.
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Merlin, simply be safe. Tomorrow - at home. Whatever comes, just be safe.
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[Merlin's hands hold onto hers for a moment longer, then he lets go with a soft sigh. He's already said what he wanted to, and it'd be unfair to push for any more at this point.]
We should probably head back.
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You do need to finally learn how to stay out of trouble, Merlin.
[ but it'll do well for both Arthur and her to learn that, too. Speaking of getting in trouble, she shrugs with a small smile. ]
And since when do we ever do things we should do? I would see Heimdall district again if I must leave.
[ come along, Merlin, catch up with her. ]
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Anywhere else you wanted to go before dawn?
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[ a beat. ]
I do hope it won't fall.
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[He shakes his head.]
It's not so horrible if they brought us all together. We have to believe we've done enough to win the war or we'll be in trouble.
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[ and then they will each be sent away. She thinks that she should have said more goodbyes. But goodbyes are an upsetting matter and she doesn't wish to sadden anyone before a battle. ]