[...Seems familiar. Merlin nods at that, and smiles back. But still he lingers, with something on his mind and more to say.]

Erm. Did you really move?

[ She nods. ]

I did, yes.

Morgana, what happened? Sam just got back from the mist and he said...

What did he do?

[ Only the mention of Sam's name makes her turn aside, her hair covering her face. ]

He did nothing Merlin, it's done.

Do you not care for him anymore?

Care for him? Merlin, I love him, perhaps more than I should but -

[ she draws a breathe. ]

But his brother thinks me a monster for my magic. If I go near Sam he will kill me, he promised me that. If he does, Arthur will see that he serves his punishment on that island and Sam will be - I saw him when looked for Dean, this wil ruin him. And Dean is like Uther, his hatred blinds him and I -

[ she wipes at her eyes. ]

And I will not see this day. I will put this sea between us but I will not see this day.

His brother is wrong. Surely he saw how hard you searched when Sam went missing, the danger you put yourself in. How can he just ignore that?

[But Merlin knows how. She summed it up quite nicely: Dean is like Uther.]

And Dean would be hard-pressed to lay a hand on you, lest he wants Arthur back at his door again.

Sam...do you think he still feels the same way about you?

It does not matter to him, Merlin. All he sees in me now is magic. I am not different to.him than the beast who wore your face. He will kill me and Sam will grieve him. I am not ashamed to die for my magic,.I will not use it against Dean either, not while I claim it can be a force for good.

I do not know what he feels for me. He wished me happiness, I wish the same for him. But Anatole has no place for me anymore. If I am to maintain this truce I cannot see Sam, it would be too much.

[Merlin had been afraid, wondered what path this sort of hurt might send her down. But then he hears her say things about her magic, feeling pride instead of shame, and it makes him angry.]

If anyone should be driven across the sea, it's him. And I doubt Sam has even realized what he's lost.

[ She smiles, a teary gesture but a smile still and she nods, crying but caring little. ]

We both paid a price for our magic. In Camelot, it always meant lonliness. I thought - I still think this could change, here and there. I could have kept him, us. But Merlin - I am not scared anymore. I have magic. I will not cry for a world that could have been, I will try and build it, for us. Me and you, Tonks - magic won't mean lonliness forever. I pity Dean and his hatred, I would hope for this to change but until then - I will not keep myself away from Sam in Anatole. I have not the power for that. And if I won't I will lose my life and this could cause nothing but damage.

There must be a sea between us for this to work.

Edited 2012-02-29 01:20 am (UTC)

I'd just believed that things were different here. That people would see things in a different way.

But some people are just never going to change.

You're very strong, Morgana. I'm not sure even you realize just how much.

I hoped for the same thing, Merlin, and perhaps it can still be done over time. Even when people such as Dean Winchester.

[ Her smile widens at the second part. ]

When we last saw each other at home I was willing to go live with the Druids, even though it meant leaving Camelot. I suppose that here I accept leaving Anatole if it will keep matters peaceful.

[That's right. She'd wanted to stay with them. He'd dragged her back.]

[He wonders how different things would've been if she'd been allowed to stay.]

I'll visit. And bring Aithusa. And obviously, anything you need.

Your company would be more than enough, Merlin. Thank you.